stupid woman

false fronts, i am afraid tt u will see through. words tt i wanted to say, i have no more rights. the ppl tt come along, they can onli take the temporary pain away. my subconscious thoughts, they come in dreams.

this time of the yr in 08, i got to know you. wat are u seeking for? wat am i seeking for? is it the same? the way we hurt each other is it comparable?

Acheivements does not equate to happiness.

Letting go, is it a conscious effort? how did u do it so easily? i will continue to run and hide. tis is some of the tings u nv knew

It surprises me tt the news hit me hard. Why should tis happen to me? Why do i feel umcomfortable hearing this ” good news” ?

It’s so sudden. It crash like a tsunami. I didnt wanna believe wat i heard from others and i didnt wanna see it happen.

I had a hope but it was diminished.what is left of me to love, i thought i could give it to you. But it was all too wrong and it was too late.  Happy endings do not happen to me..

I guess i have a big crush on you and thank god i got 4 mths time to get over it. I will not tell you cus it is the only right way to do.

a little bit longer and i hope tt i’ll be fine

Lost my soul and my faith in a lot of things. things tt i used to believe in, things i thought i will find it one day.. it is really depressing when i realise tt my fate is jus like tt. nth good will come to me. Building myself strong on the surface but still not all the way through. 6 mths and counting, the pain is still there. it makes mi hollow, lifeless, a living dead zombie.

what is love to many of us? is it smth so strong tt is unbreakable, tt promises are etched in our hearts or does it fade away with time and things does not hold anymore?

it sets me thinking…

只剩下鋼琴陪我站在這裡
zhi sheng xia gang qin pei wo zhan zai zhe li
There’s only the piano left to stand here with me

夢想中 屬於我們的婚禮
meng xiang zhong, shu yu wo men de hun li
The marriage between us that I’ve always dreamt of

卻成了 單人結婚進行曲
que cheng le, dan ren jie hun jin xing qu
Has become the tune of someone walking down the aisle alone

在這場愛情角力的拔河裡 愛我還是愛你
zhe zhe chang ai qing jiao li de ba he li, ai wo hai shi ai ni
In this love tug-of-war, to love me or to love you

你選擇了自己
ni xuan zhe le zi ji
You chose yourself

撒嬌的 可愛的 女人的 愛哭的
sa jiao de, ke ai de, nv ren de, ai ku de
Poutingly, Cutely, Girlishly, Loving to cry

照片裡 曾經的都是你喜歡的
zhao pian li, ceng jing de dou shi ni xi huan de
All the photos contains memories that you like

如今我還在原地 你卻走回你的記憶
ru jin wo hai zai yuan di, ni que zou hui ni de ji
Till today I’m still at the starting point, but you have already walked back into your memories

你說我愛你太多 就快要把你淹沒
ni shuo wo ai ni tai duo, jiu kuai yao ba ni yan mo
You said I loved you too much, so much so that it’s drowning you

你害怕幸福短暫一秒就崩落
ni hai pa xing fu duan zhan yi miao jiu peng luo
You’re scared that happiness will ebb after only a second

分開是一種解脫　讓你好好的想過
fen kai shi yi zhong jie tuo, rang ni hao hao de xiang guo
Breaking up is a form of relief; it allows you to think through carefully

我想要的那片天空　你是不是能夠給我
wo xiang yao de na pian tian kong, ni shi bu shi neng gou gei wo
Can you give me that life that I want

你說我給你太多 卻不能給我什麼
ni shuo wo gei ni tai duo, que bu neng gei wo shen me
You said I gave you too much, that you couldn’t give me anything

分不清激情承諾永恆或迷惑
fen bu qing ji qing cheng nuo yong heng huo mi huo
Can’t tell between fervour, promises, eternity or temptation

愛情是一道傷口
ai qing shi yi dao shang kou
Love is like a wound

我們各自苦痛
wo men ge zi ku tong
Let’s endure the pain ourselves

什麼是我最后溫柔
shen me shi wo zui hou wen rou
What is my final act of gentleness

是因為我太愛你
shi yin wei wo tai ai ni
Is because I love you too much

只剩下鋼琴陪我站在這裡
zhi sheng xia gang qin pei wo zhan zai zhe li
There’s only the violin left to stand here with me

夢想中 屬於我們的婚禮
meng xiang zhong, shu xu wo men de hun li
The marriage between us that I’ve always dreamt of

安靜了 在我整夜的夢裡
an jing le, zai wo zheng ye de meng li
Has been silenced in my night-long dream

我知道相愛原本就不容易
wo zhi dao xiang ai yuan ben jiu bu rong ai
I know that mutual love is not easy from the start

愛不是一加一
ai bu shi yi jia yi
Love is not just one plus one

努力就有結局
nu li jiu you jie ju
You won’t always get results even if you work hard

撒嬌的 可愛的 迷人的 愛哭的
sa jiao de, ke ai de, mi ren de, ai ku de
Poutingly, Cutely, Girlishly, Loving to cry

照片裡 曾經的都是愛著你的
zhao pian li, ceng jing de dou shi ai zhe ni de
From all the photos we’ve taken it can be seen how much I once loved you

臉頰的淚還溫熱 卻沒有人握我的手
liang jia de lei hai wen re, que mei you ren wo wo de shou
The tears on my cheeks are still warm, yet there’s no one holding my hand

Here’s some important lessons to learn:

How we behave depends on how our brain is being wired.

For males, brain is highly compartmentalized, have ability to store n separate information. At the end of the day full of problems, a man’s brain can put them away. The female brain does not store information tt way.

Men can mentally index their problems and put them on hold while women churn.

The only way to get rid of her problems is by talking about them to acknowledge them. Her objective is to discharge the problem, not to find solutions! Talking about day to day problem is how women cope with stress. We see it as bonding n supportive. All men have to do is to LISTEN!

However when women talk, men feel nagged

Why? Because men have a logical, problem solving mind. Listening to girls talk is hard work as he feels he is expected to solve each problem tt she brings up. He wants to get to a point of it and the objective of things. But the objective of women talking is just to talk. It is a way to destress.

EMOTIONS

For men, emotion is generally positioned in the right brain and is operated separately from other brain functions. For women, emotion operates on a more widely spread area of both hemisphere and can operate at the same time as other brain functions.

This explains why most women can let emotions “control” them.  

Think twice when you say those women are scary. Because men can behave very differently when they are upset.  

An emotional man can lash out like a reptile ; an emotional woman prefer to “ talk about it”

Men’s brain being highly compartmentalized deal with emotions on a more basic animal level, similar to an attacking crocodile; lashing out vocally or becoming aggressive. But women prefer to sit down and talk about it as they see it as building r/s.  

Priorities

Women values relationships and men value work. If a woman is unhappy with r/s, she can’t concentrate on her work. If a man is unhappy at work, he can’t focus on his r/s.

Under stress, woman sees spending time talking with her man as a reward but man sees it as interference to his problem solving process. When a man thinks, he wants to sit on the rock and think about solutions and he wants to be alone to do it. This silence is a problem to women as for us, if a woman is talking to you a lot, she likes you. If she’s not talking to you, you are in serious trouble.  

It has been almost one yr from my graduation from Rp. Really really miss the times back then. 

This one yr has been a great learning experience for me. Although i am very much on my own now in a new school , i am glad that my poly frens are growing up wif me. All of us busy wif our own life, boys in army n girls wif work n studies

University life is seriously different from how it feels like in poly days. Everyone is so competitive and friends are hi bye frens that dun hang out after school or outside of school. I see how environment can influence and train a person’s character. I see how lifeless human beings can be and how ppl can be so practical. I am lucky tt i am able to survive my days in school with huixin . but now tt she is leaving for SIM , i feel slightly depressed but at the same time happy for her as she found her passion in life . I wonder how it feels like without her with me.    

It’s the second day of the chinese new yr. kept myself at home. haven been feeling happy for a very long time. since the day tt you left.. still stuck .. not tt i have not been trying. Tried to hold back the tears every random nights but it is so much easier to let it flow.

behind the smiles and laughters, do u see the pain n tears ? i wish it was not you that broke the promises. i wish tt you are still the one who chase my nightmares away. the memories stayed. i wish tt 13.09.08 will not stay. but it seems to last an eternity in my mind, running the images in a loop. i thought i didnt knew you on tt day . is tt really you ?

love is not blind. it sees but doesnt mind. how i hope tt this story will nv end n our lives will not be a parallel line. my self delusion.. when will it end?  i wanna run away, i wanna hide. i wanna give myself up, i wanna let this love die. but how can i do it ? no one taught mi.

in the end, i still love you as much as i first started to know you …

been 2 weeks. wat lies beyond? when will the crying stop? when will my heart stop having the sourish feeling ? when will it stop hurting that much ? got 4 months to forget the previous one. how bout this time round?

Mood swings , depression all in a day. of cus there are times in a day when i got so busy that i dun talk bout you or think bout you , i am the usual cheerful me. but most part of the day, i am not excited bout living my life at all . f1 is here. i am not the least excited bout it. even when i am in the vicinity yst , hearing the engines roaring , i feel nth. have i become so overwhelmed by my own emotions that i dun feel anymore ? or have i drained out all my emotions in exchange for ur indifference. i dunno . it hits me real hard. it’s something that i dun expect . i’m glad you have moved on. it’s still me thinking too much .

i have a fren who mentioned that she must be a dog in her previous life. cus of the character : faithful. i tink i must be her companion in my previous life too. haha~ simply comes when our previous owner dump us at spca cos they couldnt commit to take care of us anymore or other reasons that they might found a new love. our world revolve around our owner but owner has a life to lead that is more impt than us. will they even look back for the last time and see how pathetic we look and feel sorry when they hear us cry?

there’s too much to take for now. i am not coping well emotionally. sch started and i wished you are among the ones who encourage mi and care for me.

i’m leaving tis space for a greener pasture. too much depressing stuff over the past mths. this blog is getting veri dead and not alive anymore. i started tis blog in last year december period, christmas season ( the season of love and giving) . i’m glad i have faithful readers who are very encouraging. i’m pleasantly surprised by some of you as i didnt noe u guys read my blog. Thank you for all ur support. =)

I dont know when i will start blogging again but i’ll let my known faithful readers noe my new address if i decide to start one. It will be a cheerful post . i promise. i hope i wun be stuck for too long . 

ta da~ there goes my last entry . bye everyone

Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people – but try to stay out of the limelight. You’d like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat and someone who understands you is so important in your life.

The way things are, you feel that you are stuck in a rut and there is not much you can do about it. You feel frustrated and inhibited but if you can find a way to let yourself go, you may find that things aren’t quite so bad as perhaps you thought they were. One consolation is that since you are an extremely emotional individual, with the right person you may be able to release some of that frustration and tension with some mutual tender loving care.

Matters have not gone well for you. You are experiencing severe stress trying to guard yourself from further disappointments. It would seem that all of your hopes and dreams have not been realised and you are now beginning to doubt yourself. You no longer wish to be further advised by anyone and you insist on going it alone – to control your own destiny. Even though deep down you doubt whether things will get better in the future you have one consolation – and that is that they couldn’t possibly get worse. Unwilling to give up anything that you possess, you are looking for some sort of security as a protection against any further setback or loss of position and prestige. You are so negative that you tend to exaggerate your problems and refuse to accept any advice from so called well-meaning friends.

Sometimes one fears that its not worth formulating new ideas and projects because whatever you seem to have done in the past has never worked out and you are tired of, as they say, banging your head against a brick wall. No one seems to care. So now you are trying to get away from it all by withdrawing into a ‘fantasy land’ but unfortunately ‘fantasy land’ is just that and sooner or later you will have to return to reality so why delay the inevitable? When you do return, you will find that the situation is not as tough as perhaps you thought it was.

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To read the article, click on http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,24383414-663,00.html